It's March 17th and this is my 6th post of the month and let me remind the readers that not much quality posting has gone on in this month ... really, in this year. I wish I could say that I have found new passions that have taken up my days and made me a better person, but NO not yet. I haven't been sick, didn't have a baby, haven't gone on vacation, and didn't have visitors come to my home. I have been busy though. I guess I've got that in my corner. My afternoon schedule is almost too hard to imagine. This may possibly be my greatest accomplishment so far this year. Homeschooling by day and getting my bunch from their schools to their designated afterschool activities has been challenging. Some very kind mom told me that I was inspiring. Nice word, but it's really hard for me to take that "compliment" since I don't really feel like that's the best description of me right now.
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
In a funk. What really does that mean? DEJECTED MOOD. Maybe I should start using that term instead - dejected. It certainly seems to fit me.
I'd really like to turn this post around and be joyful. I really, REALLY WOULD. You see, there could possibly be a big change happening in my immediate family life and I've been praying quite hard that God would know what is best and HIS will would be the outcome. The thing is, the definite has not happened and it's been put off over and over again. Patience and clarity are what I've been praying for. It's hard, and I'm not very good at the waiting part.
Today I went for the longest run I've been on in a while ... 4.7 miles. It started out rough. I took most of February off from running and this was only my 3rd run back. I downloaded some new music for my iPod and hoped that would inspire me. The first 1.5 miles was not feeling all that great and I almost thought the run would come to an end soon, but I persevered and kept going. By the time the run ended I thought I could've gone even further than 4.7 miles, but I knew time was not on my side. I had to get on with the day, so I made the walk back to my house.
Running makes me happy. Except for my limitations with "time", I'm never really interrupted. The time alone is like a wonder drug for me ... calming me and allowing me to think. Sometimes I listen to lyrics of songs, take in an inspiring podcast, or hear the words from a book. Running is my "me time" and it's always appreciated.
Today, I had the time to think and to feel a bit more peace. It had been a while, and it made me realize that all the worrying that I have been feeling is not the way I want to carry on. God has blessed me with so many wonderful things ... family, home, strengths, and even amazing logistical skills (getting my kids to their places on time). The sadness and all the physical side effects are NOT WHO or WHAT I want in my days. It's just a bit too depressing.
SO, today I was spoken to in a way. The little voice (God perhaps) said to me that tomorrow I will wake up and pretend that this is January 1st ...
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
I'm sure I should find some inspiring biblical quote, but instead the lyrics to a Michael Buble song come to mind.
So be IT! Tonight it works for me.
Comments
I can't believe no one commented on this one. I love your writing, and how you convey your thoughts. This one in particular.
It's so hard to be so many things to so many people, to be a constant in the unending chaos. I totally understand that. And I DO think you are inspiring, the way you manage it all.
But it's also nice to hear that you are also oh so very, blessedly, normal.
Running sounds like the perfect antidote. Good for you!
cyber- {{hugs}}