"A Wink and a Smile"

OFF  ... from the usual . I have a part time job that usually takes up about 15-18hrs of my week.  Most of those hours are spent in an office away from home.  It's been 2 years that I have been doing the same job.  It's an okay job, but not one that I feel passionate about.  Just prior to getting that job, I was a stay at home, homeschooling mommy.   At the time I was feeling some pressure from the outside world ... maybe it was time for me to have a J.O.B. instead of being at home full time.   Of course our family was feeling a pinch with money, but it wasn't a desperate situation.   This job suddenly presented itself to me and I just went for it without a whole lot of thought. Two years have been spent waking up early, getting 5 children out the door, dropping them off at school, heading to work,  and coming home at lunch time.   When I get home, I sometimes run a few miles, grocery shop, cook dinner ahead of time, or clean before ...

Growing up I had a mom who could talk and talk and TALK ! She came to all my field trips. She knew all the neighbors and had coffee time after school several times a week. She spoke at length with the lady/fella (her term) at the cash register. She spoke to strangers like she knew them all her life. This was my mom. Her name is Geri . And, there is no one quite like her. *I'm fairly certain there was a cigarette inches from my head and my dad was drinking a beer ... oh the 70's! There are things I got from my mom ... her need for a clean environment her inability to sit down and relax her energy and slim figure (although I am shorter in stature and tinier in build) her high expectations of others and outward disappointment (sigh ... a definite cross) her issues with self esteem (although I recognize mine and really do put forth effort to work through it) What I didn't get ... outgoing personality her ability to be a chatty conversationalist (although MY husband may beg to ...

Mom at age 19 (isn't that a cool pic ... she looks like Grace Kelly to me) Mom in her early 20's ME ... age 38  WOW! I do think that I have some of my Dad ... especially in the eyes, but since my jaw surgery, I NOW see a stronger resemblance to my Mom and her really prominent chin (especially when I don't smile because of these DARN braces) .

I don't talk about her a lot.  It isn't that I don't get along with her because I think that I do ... pretty well.  We don't have that chummy girlfriend type mom-daughter friendship and I am sure part of it is because we don't live near one another.  I also think it may be because my mom carries a whole lot of baggage.  She had a tough childhood ... one with abuse, neglect, and no parents to raise her.  She grew up in the foster care system and I know her childhood was really very sad.  Her take on life is very different than my own, but despite that she wanted so much more for her own children and I do believe that she did her very best.   She married my Dad who was her knight in shining armor.  He took care of her and understood her.  I know that I have talked more about my Dad because even thought I didn't have that chatty father-daughter relationship, we understood each other in a quiet sort of way.  A lot of my personality comes from my Dad, however some o...

Growing up my mother would only buy the non-sugary cereals like Cheerios, Rice Krispies, and Raisin Bran.  I HATED THAT!   I so wanted Fruit Loops , Lucky Charms , and Cookie Crisp (you know that was "supposed" to taste like "real" chocolate chip cookies).  Anyway, I ate the boring stuff.  When we ate the hot cereal it would be plain Quaker Oats oatmeal that took 10 minutes to cook or Wheatena that tasted like blechhhhhhhhhh and glue, or Cream of Wheat with just a smidge of butter and sugar. So what do I feed my own children today?????? THE SAME STUFF I HATED AS A CHILD! *I fear looking at ingredient lists that contain things I can't pronounce or go beyond my 10 fingers in number. *I see how kids today are not all that healthy and their size just proves it.  IF I can do anything about it I will make my own children suffer through eating the "good stuff" ;) I AM SO THE MEAN MOM!

Living far from my Mom who is STILL grieving my Dad can be hard.  I wish that I could take her to a support group because I do think that is what she needs to help her deal with some of her feelings.  I lost my Dad, but my Mom lost her husband who was just about everything to her. My Mom does not use a computer ... she has one (now), but can't see to get it running.  I wish she would be computer knowledgeable because there is potential support out there without having to leave her home. I have never seen my Mom read a book (other than a child's book when I was very young).  She does read the newspaper on occasion, but I do believe that she may have a learning disability or I feel like she would have had books in her home (for her) when I was growing up. So I guess I am looking for an inspiring, EASY read book that may provide examples of others who have gone through loss.  I think if the book could be on CD that may even be better. Mother's Day is approaching and this is ...

What do we have in common as of today ? I am feeling rather brave to post a picture of me with braces. They have been on nearly 10 months now. Today my 3rd daughter {m} beat her big sisters to the braces game. Poor child inherited my awful bite, but we will fix that. At least when she finishes her braces bit, she will not have to have her jaw broken and realigned like her mommy. Happy BRACES day to {m] and Happy 37th birthday to ME! *I am not sure what is going on with esnips, but I LOVE this Stevie Wonder song ... just click on the play button. As a Mommy of 5 girls, HOW could you not like this tune?

My Mom has been staying with me for almost a week now (one week to go). It is interesting to have a parent staying with you for that long. Because my Mom lives so far away, this is the only way to do things ... visit her or have her come to my house (this is much cheaper). I am quickly reminded of her ways and her habits. Some of them are not really suprising ... extreme need to CLEAN, the want to cook and feed others (she can make a mean meatball and sauce or gravy as she calls it), and her very, very predictable sayings. I would try to imitate in some way through my writing, but only my brother and little sister can do this successfully. I have also been witness to her smoking (yuck). I feel bad sending her outside to smoke, but it is not something I want my children or myself exposed to . Our lives revolve around trying to make healthy choices ... smoking ABSOLUTELY goes against this. Mostly I just feel so sad inside. I can'thelp but to wonder if my Mom will get sick and die fro...

My Mom's birthday and today is All Soul's Day . Thinking of my Dad and saying a prayer for him ...