"A Wink and a Smile"

It's been 2 (now 3) years since your passing, but I still think of you quite often. I remember ... You were quiet You liked to people watch You always called me your thinker and asked what was on my mind You took me and my siblings to the beach when mom couldn't You bought me sneakers one time that mom NEVER would have allowed You let me eat cherry ices at the beach ... even though mom would probably curse you for the stains You never yelled at me ... that wasn't your style You took the blame for always getting lost when it was really mom who wandered (I know this now) You were so nervous walking me down the aisle You trusted my decisions You called me super ... you thought I was smart You suffered a lot, but put on a brave face You liked a lot of the same things that I do ... photography, beaches, creative stuff You passed on a lot of your traits to me and for all that ... I THANK YOU DAD and I still miss you! 2/26/38-5/21/07

I'm in the kitchen cleaning up when little {c} ... the four year old, says to me "Mommy, Daddy is on the phone for you!" {c} had my phone and was playing a matching game ... or, so I THOUGHT. When I got on the phone with my husband he told me his conversion play by play ... {c} texted my husband 4 x with MY iPhone. Daddy called and little {c} knew it was him because his picture comes up ;) She asked "did you get my texts?" He said "yes, I was going to ask you about them. I wasn't sure what you meant" Little {c} replied "they were about the show {k} watched ... Charlie Brown" Then I got my phone back. I think little {c} realized her dad wanted to talk with her mom ;) I should be more careful when letting little {c} play with my phone. Who knows who she'll TEXT NEXT?

Great post on FATHER's DAY ... Thy Will Be Done And, 'cause I can't forget my own DAD ... I'm going to call my MOM.

The BEST DAD I know. He isn't home today (off with 3 of our children at yet another AWAY swim meet), but I do know that he will see this on his handy dandy BRAND SPANKING NEW iPhone ;) He'll have to pretend this little blog post is his card. So here you go dear ... I love you in 13 different ways for the # of years you have been DADDY ... You (on this FATHER'S DAY) are doing what you do best for our children ... being present for them as often as you can. You want the best for our children and work so very hard to provide what we NEED and what we WANT . You are oh so cool . Maybe you think you are getting "old", but you are hip ... current ... down with it baby. You helped give us child #1 (Miss SMARTY PANTS) You helped give us child #2 (Miss SWIM GIRL) You helped give us child #3 (Miss Wonder what she will be like when she grows up) You helped give us child #4 (Miss Tomboy) You helped give us child #5 (Miss DRAMA) You help me to discipline when I feel defeated...

It's been 2 years since your passing, but I still think of you quite often. I remember  ... You were quiet You liked to people watch You always called me your thinker and asked what was on my mind You took me and my siblings to the beach when mom couldn't You bought me sneakers one time that mom NEVER would have allowed You let me eat cherry ices at the beach ... even though mom would probably curse you for the stains You never yelled at me ... that wasn't your style You took the blame for always getting lost when it was really mom who wandered (I know this now) You were so nervous walking me down the aisle You trusted my decisions You called me super ... you thought I was smart You suffered a lot, but put on a brave face You liked a lot of the same things that I do ... photography, beaches, creative stuff You passed on a lot of your traits to me and for all that ... I THANK YOU DAD and I still miss you! 2/26/38-5/21/07

YOU MAKE US PROUD!!!!!!! Today I will be attending a special assembly at the school of my oldest two girls.  It is to honor America's veterans.  A few men will be talking about their years of service ...  they have served our country well.  A young lady whom I know very well will also be there to read her writing essay (contest winner) on Veteran's Day to the school.  I can't wait {e}! ... Poppie would be so proud !

I don't talk about her a lot.  It isn't that I don't get along with her because I think that I do ... pretty well.  We don't have that chummy girlfriend type mom-daughter friendship and I am sure part of it is because we don't live near one another.  I also think it may be because my mom carries a whole lot of baggage.  She had a tough childhood ... one with abuse, neglect, and no parents to raise her.  She grew up in the foster care system and I know her childhood was really very sad.  Her take on life is very different than my own, but despite that she wanted so much more for her own children and I do believe that she did her very best.   She married my Dad who was her knight in shining armor.  He took care of her and understood her.  I know that I have talked more about my Dad because even thought I didn't have that chatty father-daughter relationship, we understood each other in a quiet sort of way.  A lot of my personality comes from my Dad, however some o...

I just love this old photo of my Dad from his days in the army. He looks so young, so happy, and so skinny. I wonder if Heaven lets us all have those qualities (LOL). Today I am thinking of my Dad as it is one year since his passing . I remember the silly way he used to talk to me. It didn't matter that I was in my 30's, he still called me "Super". That little thought comforts me because I knew that he loved me and that he thought I was something special. Miss You DAD!

Living far from my Mom who is STILL grieving my Dad can be hard.  I wish that I could take her to a support group because I do think that is what she needs to help her deal with some of her feelings.  I lost my Dad, but my Mom lost her husband who was just about everything to her. My Mom does not use a computer ... she has one (now), but can't see to get it running.  I wish she would be computer knowledgeable because there is potential support out there without having to leave her home. I have never seen my Mom read a book (other than a child's book when I was very young).  She does read the newspaper on occasion, but I do believe that she may have a learning disability or I feel like she would have had books in her home (for her) when I was growing up. So I guess I am looking for an inspiring, EASY read book that may provide examples of others who have gone through loss.  I think if the book could be on CD that may even be better. Mother's Day is approaching and this is ...

My Mom's birthday and today is All Soul's Day . Thinking of my Dad and saying a prayer for him ...

It has been nearly 2 months since my Dad passed away from his long battle with cancer. Most of the time I feel okay about things ... my Dad is no longer in pain, but in peace. However, there are moments where I am ANGRY that his life was shortened. He died at 69, but in ways he died even sooner. I wish that he could have really savored his last years doing things he loved ... visiting family, tinkering in his garage, going to the beach, and taking walks with my Mom. I wish I didn't feel MAD that he didn't get to do those things, but I do. My children will likely NOT remember their "Poppie" the way that I would have liked them to. That makes me SAD . Mostly I just MISS my Dad ... *that little girl in blue floral would be me

(1938-2007) I know he is at peace! He shouted out a few times this week that he "wanted to go home" ... he is now. I am at a loss of words. I can't sleep, and it is the middle of the night. Dad just passed away at 12:50am EST this morning. He fought a very courageous fight for nearly 9 years. I will head to be with my Mom this week. If you could say some prayers for her ... she needs them now.

I get like this after every vacation we take. I guess it is like coming down from an amazing high (not that I would really know, but I would imagine). I miss my family ... the ones who truly care about me. I am also going through a really tough time right now. My Dad is dying - slowly, but surely. He is officially off of chemo (has been for nearly 7 weeks). I am not sure how many people have witnessed a loved one suffer so much. It is heartbreaking beyond thoughts or words. So I am sad, and lonely right now. Wishing for friends who are more than just acquaintances. It just seems that my life is not blessed with that. Moving around a bunch will do that. I just need an ear that will listen and say I am sorry ... that I will be here for you. I am not about to tell people that I haven't seen or spoken to in a while my woes. So I write it down here(blog) and just let my thoughts be out there. Maybe some stranger will say a prayer.