Don't you just HATE IT when you have something big to say

and no one around to say it to. That drives me nuts.

So here I go, trying as quickly as I can to blog my thought down. Goodness knows how I always have something going on in my mind, but half the time I forget to write it down, or say it to someone, then the thought is lost for weeks. Hopefully what I jot down is coherent.

Today's EPIPHANY ...

• 
  I do NOT want to send my girls back to the school they are in. I registered them (just in case) back in February. At the time I did not want to deal with people asking me a lot of why questions. Some days I am still not sure as to all the whys.
• 
  I want my girls to love school, and have some fun at the same time. They do have good days ... sometimes.
• 
  I dislike number grades in the early years. It has already made me feel like I put more pressure on my girls to get above a 93 (an A). Someday in highschool and college, they will feel that pressure to get good grades, but I want them to learn foremost, and not just aspire to get a certain grade.
• 
  I dislike busy work when that is all that seems to be accomplished. Mostly I feel like info is drilled in and forgotten. I want the stuff they learn to have a connection so that it will be remembered. Obviously not everything we learn will be remembered (I can attest to that), but I do think that the manner in which things are taught can be more stimulating ... more thought provoking. To me those things are what we remember.
• 
  I don't want my girls in a school that is all about "following the rules" 24/7. Sometimes it seems like their priorities are all out of whack. I want them to learn good character traits, but I also want them to LEARN. Sometimes it seems like 75% of the time, the class is BUSY being disciplined in some way. My girls have to sit and wait on those who cause disruptions.
• 
  I want my girls to be able to work with people and not just independently. I do think team input/work is important. Very little /if any is done of this.
• 
  I send my girls to a school that has teachers that are stressed, grumpy, and frustrated. YES! These are the words my girls use to describe their teachers. Where is the JOY in teaching??????
• 
  I could go on about the things my girls are NOT GETTING ... good exposure to art/music, writing, etc. Will I give them all I wish they would get? Again, I am not sure, but I will do my best.
• 
  TEXTBOOKS, WORKBOOKS, .... ahhhhhhhhhh! Children neatly seated in rows, looking at their books, writing down the answers that the teacher will need to check in her wonderful answer key. THAT DRIVES ME NUTS! Where is the creativity? I know that some questions have one answer, but that sole method of learning is boring, boring, boring!

So onto HOMESCHOOLING ...

• 
  NO, I can't guarantee that I will be a happy, loving, excited teacher all the time, but I would be willing to say that I am sorry when things don't go as they should. I don't know of many teachers who apologize when they have bad days. I don't know of many teachers in the school that my girls go to that verbally acknowledge good behavior. Mostly this makes me SAD.
• 
  I am not looking to shelter my kids from everything that I don't like in this world, but I would hope to provide them with the proper direction to make good choices when they get older.
• 
  Am I anti-school?... no, not at all. I am just not for a school that doesn't uphold with the standards I aspire for my children.
• 
  For the past 2 years I have felt stressed and worried each and every day that I send my children to school. I worry if they will do all the "right" things and if they will get the "best" grades. I really don't feel like I was this "type" of person before my children went to this school. I know that I will worrry some whether I will teach them enough, but I also know that I will hold MYSELF accountable to this.

Hmmmmmm .... those are my thoughts for now. I am sure I will think of more later ;)