Happy Birthday to my MOM!

I don't talk about her a lot. It isn't that I don't get along with her because I think that I do ... pretty well. We don't have that chummy girlfriend type mom-daughter friendship and I am sure part of it is because we don't live near one another. I also think it may be because my mom carries a whole lot of baggage. She had a tough childhood ... one with abuse, neglect, and no parents to raise her. She grew up in the foster care system and I know her childhood was really very sad. Her take on life is very different than my own, but despite that she wanted so much more for her own children and I do believe that she did her very best.

She married my Dad who was her knight in shining armor. He took care of her and understood her. I know that I have talked more about my Dad because even thought I didn't have that chatty father-daughter relationship, we understood each other in a quiet sort of way. A lot of my personality comes from my Dad, however some of my ways come from my mom. You really can't escape your genes no matter how hard you try. I think my siblings would even agree with this.

My Mom struggles with a lot ... depression, missing my dad, missing her children, and missing friends. I think if my mom and I have one really big thing in common is that we hold a lot in and can sometimes implode or explode ... depending on the occasion. My mom is strong, but she is not confident. My mom is street smart, but she would never even use those words. My mom is striking, although she will never admit it. My mom is beautiful and I love her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Feeling every bit of 46 ... ugh!

When I was 45, I was feeling fabulous. I was fit, energetic, and I thought I could easily pass for 40;) Age was just a number and I certainly didn't think I felt or looked my true age. Then February 11th came and I turned 46. I have sciatica on my left side, my left knee is stiff, and I have plantar fasciitis in my right foot. I've resorted to stretching all the time and popping the occasional anti-inflammatory. There are dark circles under my eyes that I've had to start putting concealer on. My hair is growing out from last years 45 year old short hair, but it's just in an awkward stage. I can't decide if I want to cut it again or let it grow out. I even thought of styling my hair differently by doing a different hair part. That was a terrible idea because I was SHOCKED to see how much gray is now growing in the center of my scalp. I also think my metabolism is slowing down because my mid section seems a little thicker ... ...

"The Loveliness of The Seashore"

What is the "Seashore" like? "Where the sky meets the sea ... The seashore is a place where the sea and the sky are the same smoky gray until ... the morning sun breaks through. The hot noonday sun feels warm as a big soft cat covering you. And it seems there is nothing in the world except the sound of the wind and the rising and falling of waves." Over at Dawn 's there are so many wonderful books suggested on her blog. Earlier this month I couldn't help but to peek at some of them ... thanks Dawn! *The above quote came from The Seashore Book . The ocean moves in and then moves out. This place where water, sky and earth meet is never the same. The tide comes in, the tide goes out, each wave that returns pushes against the incoming swell as it is pulled back into the endless depths and swallowed into the vastness of an unknown deep. Such is each day of our "daily" lives. I grew up enjoying the sights, sound, and the surf of the NY/Jersey "shor...

A scattered post ...

I throw myself into stuff all the time. It can be anything from the start of a swim season, a new school year, the election, a vacation, an exercise routine etc. I'm kind of in a phase where I really don't know what my focus should be. I turned on the television and honestly, I have no idea what is on this fall season ... NO IDEA AT ALL . If I watched television in the past few months, it was something kid related or Fox News. I NEED A NEW FOCUS. My current thoughts ... reading a fictional, just for fun book stepping up my exercise routine thinking about our Christmas wish lists and shopping baking more ... I really am slacking in this area ways to save money so that we can get a new (second) washer and dryer for the upstairs (not a fancy kind because this would mostly be used by my oldest two children)... I actually have hookups. I wonder if a lot of people go through a sort of "lull" period this time of the year. Surely it doesn't last long with the start ...

"A Wink and a Smile"

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