Ok ... so the other day I was just doing what I do everyday. I was checking my blog, looking at a few shopping sites, facebooking ... same old, same old. All of a sudden I came upon an ad for University of Phoenix. I have seen that ad a hundred times, but at that moment, I clicked on over to it. It isn't a new thought in my head that sometime soon I may just need to get some sort of job to help bring in a few bucks (you know ... I have five children and all ... some of them are pretty darn smart). My husband has never been pushy about it. Right now he knows how important my job is at home. He lets me know that, which is a very good thing.
ANYWAY, I clicked on over to the part about participating in their online program. Then it started to ask me questions. I know who I am and what I have done so far, but where to go next ... huh? I am nearly 38 years old and I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up. I hold a BSN (Bachelor of Science in nursing), but I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to do that job again. I've been out of it so long that I know I would have to refresh BIG TIME.
So I just pick something like BS in Technology-Web Development. I love my computer and I love to see cool, creative ads/sites, etc. However, I probably know NOTHING about this. After choosing that, I am asked for my email/phone number. I give it. Sometimes I have moments of stupidity ... you know, brain cells have been lost. It took not even 10 minutes before I am called about my inquiry.
The man who is talking with me is very nice. I decide not to give my excuse of running out the door, busy with children, or can you call back later. I'm all about being honest lately so I partake in a chat with him. He seems to understand me because he has a wife with 4 children and knows that I have been only working in the home for a number of years. After listening to me for a bit, he seemed to want to encourage me to get my masters in hospital administration or business. Those seem like very lovely degrees, but I just don't want that and I told him so. He then reminds me that I already hold a bachelors degree and maybe just going for a masters would be quicker (as far as schooling goes). I guess it makes sense, but it is not what I want!
Then I think ...
I don't really want to go back to school
I don't really have the money to go back to school
WHAT THE HECK am I doing?
What I am really looking to do in the next few years is to ease into something. Maybe do something part time and then, full time. I want to do something that I love which doesn't offer me up a lot of stress. My husband has reminded me a number of times how he is more than willing to be the one who takes all the stress (outside the home) because I NEED to be able to take care of "all this" (at home) and there is plenty of stress to fill my days there ;)
Maybe I was having a crazy moment thinking I needed to go to the extreme of being educated all over again.
Maybe I have had those moments that I thought I don't have a "real" career
OR
Maybe I just was lonely and I was hoping to have a conversation with an adult about something grown up.
I thought all of that at the very end of my conversation where the man kindly told me all the stuff he would send off to me. Lovely man he was, but I was needed in the kitchen with the little girl cutting my coupons into 1001 pieces.
My career is at home ... for now. Who knows what I will be thinking tomorrow.
Comments
Hope those coupons weren't from the stack of keepers .... :-)
I also felt the need to bring in extra cash because of college and WWWWWWeddings x 3 than I decied I had to put it the back of my head because the girls still need me a lot now and I do NOT have time for a LIFE now!
God bless you with 5 girls I wouuld love to know how you do it everyday.. I love my girls but all the screaming EKKKK
Anyway...I digress, but I think if this is something you want, you should consider it. Even if it's just a few classes here and there. And don't let someone else talk you into a degree you don't want.
Now that I have all the kids in school I thought I could handle subbing and working all day.
It is so hard. I have to do everything that I was doing plus work a full day! My dh does not get it when I pack all the lunches and his and mine that I am a little peeved. I told him he has to pack his own lunch if I work...he told me don't work.
Enjoy that little sweet 3yr old...those years go by fast.
We all know where you're coming from. The important thing is that you and YOUR dear hubby are on the same page. And we imperfect human beings all go through periods of feeling inadequate at our vocations. I know I do ALL.THE.TIME!
You are exactly where you are supposed to be - but with society in your face, it's hard not to question. Just keep coming back to know where you'll get your strokes - your husband, your family and your friends! :)
My job at home is far from over, and there isn't anywhere else I want to be...yet, sometimes, I still forget how important it is, and that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
It's not easy being MOM sometimes!
I find myself thinking about a way to bring in some more dollars as well but know dep down that I need to be at home with the kids right now. It's crucial at their ages that I be home with them. Maybe later, I will go out and get my masters or another bachelors all over again. We'll see.
You are doing the right thing!