Where I lived as a little girl ...

From the age of 7-18, I lived in a place called Twin Rivers. I guess you could say it was where I grew up. It was built in the late 60's-early 70's and was located just 50 minutes from NYCity ... the first planned unit development. But before the age of 7, I lived in Brooklyn, NY. At the time my family of 6 was living in the downstairs floor of a home that we had definitely had outgrown by the time my parents had 2 children. This new development that we were heading to was being advertised as a great place to raise a family and a bus ride for those commuting to the city (NY). Of course, my dad worked in Manhattan at the time.

So, when I was 7, my parents moved all of us to NJ (my 2 older siblings and one younger sister). I was thrilled because this was a real (town)house with 4 bedrooms, a small backyard, and a basement. We were moving on up!

Some of the other cool features of this community were 4 pools (and not small ones ... 25M pools, 6 lanes, diving tanks, baby pools), tennis courts, baseball fields, and playgrounds all over the place. This development had townhomes, apartments, condos, and single family homes. There were blacktop paths that ran all throughout ... perfect for bike riding and exercising (no cars allowed). There was even an underground tunnel that you could walk through to get to the other side. The community had 4 QUADS and a highway went through the middle separating them into Quad 1&2/ Quad 3&4. Each of the sides had it's own elementary school and convenience store (7-11). The one side even had it's own shopping center complete with a grocery store, library, pizza place, dry cleaners, Chinese restaurant, dentist, doctor, card store, game room, bagel place,hair salon, and more.

This community was designed so that one could walk anywhere without needing a car. And believe me, most people adhered to this way of life. Our family (like so many others) only had one car. My dad walked each day to a bus stop that took him straight into the city for work. My mom got use of the family car most of the time. It wasn't until the 80's that I started to see more families with 2 cars. My girls would probably find that shocking!

Summer was the best time when I was a little girl. As long as I told my mom where I was going (and most of the time I really did), I could seek adventure in so many places. I'd head to the pool with friends and sometimes stay all-day-long. There were tons of kids in this community and you were pretty much guaranteed someone, if not MANY to play with. On hot summer nights, I can vividly recall games of tag and kickball with a group of kids in our commons ground (I basically lived in a U-shaped court of townhomes and in the center was a common area of grass with trees and landscaping on one side and parking on the other).

In a way I think my mom had it a bit easier. In the 60's through the 80's, people seemed to trust people more. People looked after others and safety was not so much of a worry. When I say that I would play outside for hours ... I did. My mom could clean a house and cook a meal with hardly an interruption. The inside of the house never really seemed messy or cluttered. Of course back then, we had a lot less "things", but for the most part kids were OUTSIDE and not so much inside.

My girls live a very different life. While we currently live in a development of houses, it isn't like how I had it growing up. Kids here go to a variety of public, private, or parochial schools ... so there isn't that awareness of who everyone is. There are families with young kids and old kids, but there are empty nesters as well. The neighborhood is quiet. Sometimes you will see kids playing outside ... riding bikes or skateboards, but most streets seem void of that. I can send my girls outside (to play on my property), but I know that it won't last for hours. While there is a pool and small playground (in walking distance), I can't just send my girls there unless they are 10 and up (and still I would never let them go off by themselves in hopes of finding a friend at the pool). There is no convenience store to spend your allowance and buy a slushie, no library to borrow some books, no tennis courts or blacktops to play on, and no big fields to play kickball with friends.

Having a car to get to places is vital. Most playdates involve a drive to another house. The library and stores are all within 10-20 minutes of my home. IF my girls want to do just about ANYTHING, it involves ME. I think this is the biggest difference between my childhood and my girls. Independence and freedom seem to be missing. There isn't the trust and worry free ways of the past. People drive into their homes and shut the garage doors behind them. Sometimes you have no idea that anyone is really at home in these houses. Hired help takes care of the yards (of course I AM the help in my home) so often I never see my neighbors. Just the other day I saw the boy across the street. He looked about 14. AFter living here for 5 years I can count on my hand how many times I have seen him. He has red hair ... I almost forgot that.

While I am sad that my girls don't get to experience what I HAD as a young girl, I know that life today is different. They don't see what they are missing. My girls have a great big house to live in and to play in. They have a lot of "things". They participate in activities and swimming when not in school. During summer months, they still swim and play, but it almost always requires some help from me. I'm okay with that because I'm so used to driving all over and so are my girls.

Someday when my own girls have their own children, they will likely see that the lives they live are probably different than theirs from the past. Time moves on ... the ways of the world change. It's bittersweet.