Feeling UNCERTAIN and WORRIED ...

On October 1st, 2014 I ventured into direct selling with a great skin care company. It was my second go at it (first being from June 1- November 1, 2012) and I really felt optimistic about getting back into it. I love the products and the business model was great. Problem was ... I was not great.

One of my goals I had when joining Rodan and Fields was to make some money without having to compromise family and time. With that I had really hoped to gain confidence, make new friends in the area I live, and ultimately gain a sense of pride. I wanted my husband and children to be proud of ME.

I've spent the better part of my adult life taking care of others and being HOME to do that. We've been fortunate to get by with one income. That's not to say that things aren't "tight", but we have what we need and then some.

Today I am HOME again and without any sort of income. I have 5 children ... one in college and one is is off to college in the fall. We live in an area where everything is expensive. I'm sure that I am not alone in feeling financial pressure. College is crazy expensive and figuring out how our family will get by is mind numbing.

I know I need to do something.

I need that something to be part time because all the afterschool activities require a MOM who can help out.

I'm not sure what that something should be???????

I do know that Rodan and Fields was not the answer for me. I guess I can cross that "something" off my list.

What do I want to be when I grow up? I thought I knew when I was younger, but with time ... not so sure anymore.

My prayers these days are long and quite frankly, the begging kind. Please, PLEASE help me to know the plans YOU have for ME. Plans for welfare ... plans to give me HOPE ... plans to give me a FUTURE.

I don't want to feel FEAR, WORRY, and UNCERTAINTY each day.

PLEASE show me the way ...

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Momto5minnies meets the Pioneer Woman!

I read her blog and knew that she was coming into town for her book signing and I thought about going, but I also knew it was the day that I was getting my braces off (MONDAY 11/9). On Sunday night before, my husband made a quick trip to Walmart and brought home a flyer saying how Ree Drummond (The Pioneer Woman) was coming the next day. I'm not sure if my husband was more excited about me getting my braces off the next day or having me MEET THE PIONEER WOMAN. I guess I really did want to go, but now I HAD TO GO! Monday was a crazy day ... jitters in the am 4.6 mile run to make me feel relaxed (it was also my longest run yet) drop the 12 year old at her homeschool art class quick trip to Walmart (to see if there were Pioneer Woman cookbooks ... no luck, but my husband picked me up a few ... I'm gifting some for Christmas). home to throw a pot roast in the crockpot braces removal at 11:30am dentist visit at 1pm usual afterschool chaos of swim team home for a 30 minute rest wa...

A scattered post ...

I throw myself into stuff all the time. It can be anything from the start of a swim season, a new school year, the election, a vacation, an exercise routine etc. I'm kind of in a phase where I really don't know what my focus should be. I turned on the television and honestly, I have no idea what is on this fall season ... NO IDEA AT ALL . If I watched television in the past few months, it was something kid related or Fox News. I NEED A NEW FOCUS. My current thoughts ... reading a fictional, just for fun book stepping up my exercise routine thinking about our Christmas wish lists and shopping baking more ... I really am slacking in this area ways to save money so that we can get a new (second) washer and dryer for the upstairs (not a fancy kind because this would mostly be used by my oldest two children)... I actually have hookups. I wonder if a lot of people go through a sort of "lull" period this time of the year. Surely it doesn't last long with the start ...

Not a lot has changed ...

As a puppy he always liked a warm spot. We call Comet our "close talker" (from Seinfeld) because he is in your face and always a little too close for our comfort level. The girls don't seem to mind, but it can be a little annoying for my husband and I. Really, he is a fabulous dog. He listens well and is so gentle with everyone. *We don't let Comet on furniture ... except for the playroom/schoolroom couch. There he enjoys relaxing and being read to by one of the girls. SPOILED POOCH!

"A Wink and a Smile"

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